Troll Advice

1. We will take any questions. Anything from earth shattering questions of ‘SO IT’S 3 AM. DO I FINISH OFF THE REST OF THE PIE?’ or anything trivial like ‘DO I ASK THIS BOY OUT?’
2. We are certified creepers. 99% of the chance if you get this certification then all your problems will be solved. Usually. 
3. One of us is a hobo. The other is stuck in a frozen winterland.
4. One of us is also married to Chris Evans. The other is in a committed threesome with Dianna Agron and Alex Pettyfer. 
5. I think this suddenly turned into an introduction post. 
6. Following our advice will 100% of the time get you results (positive or negative results? Who cares!). Which is why you should always listen. Actually it’ll probably be about 99% of the time but who’s calculating amirite?
7. We accept fruit baskets for your thanks. 

Through our daily lovin’ of Tumblr, we here at Troll Advice have noticed a lacking of proper etiquette in the tracked tags. So we thought we’d break it down, bullet-style for y’all, in case you were unaware of The Proper Use of Tracked Tags.

• DO search the tracked tags before posting news/stills/posters/etc. for upcoming movies/projects. Chances are, it’s already been posted 20 times in the last hour.
• DON’T proceed to then post that same news/still/poster/etc. Unless 
  do not add to the Tracked Tag Floods.
• DO reblog!
• DON’T tag a celebrity/musician/show/movie/character/etc. IF HE/SHE/IT IS NOT EVEN IN YOUR POST. (That ~*life altering*~ quote you posted about ~missing someone speshul~ has nothing to do with dinosaurs, wat da hale.)
• DO use a “read more” cut when spoilers are involved. It’s easy. 
  
  Just click that button before YOUR WALL OF SPOILER-HAPPY TEXT/PHOTOS/WHAT-HAVE-YOU.
• DON’T liveblog in the tracked tags. Just. Don’t. (Definition: watching a show as it airs, posting your reactions, and then tagging it without a “read more” cut.
• DO spell check your tags. “John Nobody” does not need to show up in the “John Noebody” tracked tag.
• DON’T post somebody else’s edits/graphics without credit and then tag it with the celeb/show/movie/etc. Those who follow the tags regularly know that ain’t yours and judge you.
  
  The original maker probably hates your guts now.
• DON’T tag your personal posts with popular tracked tag celebs/shows/etc. The people in the “Batman” tag don’t want to hear about your night of pre-teen debauchery.

These are just a few suggestions for proper Tracked Tag Etiquette. TYFYT.

Wanna know how to make friends and become insanely popular on Tumblr? Troll your dash’s ask boxes, telling them what not to post on their Tumblrs! Fun, right? Even better? Tell them to stop posting because of your racist attitudes and blame it on your legit ~fear~ of that race! They’ll instantly love you!! But whoa, hold your horses, buddy. Don’t you dare submit that shit with your name attached. The art of the troll is to go ~anon. You are the rattlesnake of Tumblr, spreading your venom to those you follow (why do you follow them again? No idea!), and blending in with your environment through the power of greyface! They’ll appreciate your honesty and immediately cease and desist reblogging anything that contains any trace of that race! Because they care about your racism.

Bitch, please~ Advice of the day? Don’t make a complete fool of yourself by doing this. You come off as an intolerant, narrow-minded ass. And to attempt to legitimize your bigoted views by saying that race “scares” you? 

OH OKAY, MY BAD. I’M SO SORRY MY REBLOGGING OF PEOPLE BORN WITH THIS SKIN TONE/THESE FACIAL FEATURES HAVE FILLED YOU WITH ALL-CONSUMING, OVERWHELMING FEAR AND ANXIETY. I PROMISE THESE NEXT FOUR HOURS OF REBLOGGING EVERYTHING THAT HAS TO DO WITH THIS BEAUTIFUL GROUP OF PEOPLE HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH MY PUNISHING YOU FOR TELLING ME WHAT I CAN AND CANNOT HAVE ON MY BLOG AND POISONING MY ASKBOX WITH YOUR TRIPE. MY FINGER JUST SLIPPED AND REPEATEDLY CLICKED ON THE REBLOG BUTTON I AM SO OVERCOME WITH SORROW PLEASE FORGIVE ME.

Here’s the door.